Jan 25, 2009

I, like most people, have been feeling miserable these past three weeks because of the genocide against my people in Gaza. I can neither sleep, nor eat…Some days, I cannot even breathe. I thought that if I shared my thoughts and feelings with others, I might be able to cope better. But, then I discovered that I couldn’t find the words to describe the pain and agony I am going through.

I look at my nieces, so young and happy, and my heart breaks because I know that one day they will too realize that the world doesn’t believe that they have the right to live, let alone to live freely, simply because they are Palestinians. Someday, they will be just as heart-broken as I am today, because they will watch their people suffer and die…Worst of all, they will watch the world participate in the annihilation of their land and their people, and they too will realize that no one gives a damn…Simply because they are Palestinians.

Someday, my beautiful nieces will realize that when the world looks at them they only see ‘terrorists” and “militants”, rather than the wonderful people they really are. They will learn that when it comes to them and their people, the world doesn’t care for justice, or equality, or even basic human rights.

And I dread the day when they will ask the inevitable questions: Why? Why us? Why don’t we matter? Why are we not important? Why is it a “Holocaust” when it happens to the Jews, but “self-defense” when it happens to us? Why does the world look the other way while we are maimed, murdered, starved, and massacred?

They will ask all these, and many more questions. And I don’t have the answers. I don’t know why the world doesn’t care. I don’t know why there is no justice for us. I don’t know why we were born refugees, and will die refugees. I don’t know why our home was taken from us. I don’t know why our people are being massacred, and I don’t know why the world refuses to put an end to it.

But, I do know that I will do everything within my power to fight for my people, to fight for my Gaza, to fight for my Jerusalem, to fight for my Yafa, to fight for my Palestine. If I can only fight with my words, then I vow to spend every day trying to educate at least one person about what is really happening in Palestine. If I can only fight with my voice, then I vow to yell as loud as I can every day, “Free Palestine”. If I can only fight with my tears, then I vow to cry everyday for my beautiful country, and my beautiful people. And when I have nothing more left in me, I vow to fight by never forgetting – never forgetting that as we eat and laugh and enjoy life, Palestinians are starving and crying and dying. Never forgetting that while we are safe, they are in danger; while we are warm, they are freezing; while we are planning weddings, they are planning funerals.

And I will teach my nieces to always hold their heads up high, simply because they are Palestinians. I will teach them to always stand strong, and never back down. I will teach them to always be proud. I will teach them to live, and to love, and to thrive simply because they are Palestinian. And, I will teach them that we will always survive, no matter what.

So, listen up dear world. We survived the 1948 Nakbah, and we survived the 1967 war, and we survived the past 60 years of oppression, concentration camps, displacement, and murder, and we will survive this genocide, and we will never cease to exist.

- May A. Altoukhi is a Palestinian student studying for her master’s.
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